Absolute
by Leviticus Lied
Summary: Fire is an absolute. Is Zuko ready for the only path a firebender may take? Who can help him accept his fate? Rated for implications, at this point. ZxOC
1. The Beginning

Fire is an absolute.

There is no way around it. Either death results – or life. No matter how one tries to twist that thought in their head, it can mean nothing else. Fire kills, consumes everything it touches. It isn't like the other benders' elements.

Air floats the spirit, bringing it closer to peace. Air does not destroy things without meaning to. An airbender does not accidentally burn his favorite toy, just received as a Fire Festival gift from his mother. An airbender does not literally get chained to a wall for a day and a night merely for forgetting one pose in a Dragon sequence and losing his control. An airbender does not go without dinner, again, for singing his nurse's hair. An airbender is peaceful, and lives just so; riding the breaths of the Earth herself.

Water calms the mind, sharpening the senses like ice. Water preserves, encases in the most ancient sense, and freezes in time. A waterbender does not bear a scar from his earliest experiments with the Fireblade technique. A waterbender does not earn the contempt of the class for being the son of the Emperor. A waterbender does not die in a duel as a matter of course. A waterbender is thoughtful, and maintains his poise; floating in the serene waters of thought.

Earth buries haste, forcing thought and consideration. Earth nurtures, helps a seed grow into beauty. An earthbender does not rush in, gaining a scar and a bitter lesson. An earthbender does not itch to feel the power rush through his veins once more, only once. An earthbender does not dream at night, alone and rabid, of the thrill of death, the horrible, insatiable thirst for more fuel. An earthbender is cautious and wise as the ponderous cycle of erosion.

Fire does not bring peace. Fire eliminates thought. Fire does not stop, moving onward and onward until something, anything, stops its progress. Fire kills everything, burning and destroying until there's nothing left, of its fuel or the bender that once thought he controlled it.

Fire is an absolute, causing only death. One day, I, Zuko, banished prince of the Fire nation, will fall to it as well. There is no way around it. It is a lesson that every firebender learns. No one uses fire without first accepting their own death.

No!

I pray now, to the god or goddess or anyone, do not let me die like this! I am too young: to lead; to master my element; to control _myself. _I cannot stop the fire in my soul from possessing me, every single time, without fail, that I even call a candle's flame to me. I am not ready to die like this, a victim of the fire I sought to direct and bend to my will.

I am not ready.


	2. The Festival

_I am not ready._

I awoke alone in a hammock, swinging gently with the surge of the ship. A mildewed blanket was tangled around my legs, and grew cold with my own sweat. Slowly, the last vestiges of the dream left me, and I shook my head. Dropping my feet to the floor, I winced as my cold heels stung, but at least it woke me up. It was dark, but I knew that a candle was in the corner of the room, surrounded by protecting glass, and I padded over to it. Twisting my finger just so, a tiny flame leapt from me to the wick and light came.

My reflection in a cracked mirror was garish – a blooming scar over my left eye dominated all. Running my hand over it, I heard the jeers of the spectators and the contempt in my father's face once more. It does not do to dwell on the past. I dressed quickly, my uniform of red on red, the color of blood and hate to my mind. Very well, it suited me.

I made my way on deck, legs keeping me balanced without my mind interceding. Uncle Iroh was there, taking command of the ship for the few hours I had been able to sleep. I walked to stand beside him, a good length taller than him, but unmistakably the weaker bender. It used to annoy me, being compared to him and found lacking; now, it only flattered me to be compared at all. He turned to me with a welcoming smile, and motioned for me to take over, if I wished.

Nodding without a word, he left the place of power to me, and slinked off to wherever he went when not required. He would return, like clockwork, if he was able to help. He always did. I surveyed the rigging and the men, trying to look beneath as Uncle had taught me, and frowned. The men weren't moving as quickly, and seemed more tired. Perhaps they needed a rest?

The muster showed that a new watch had been called a half hour before; I couldn't rotate it again so soon. I had to do something else. But what could it be? It wasn't that they were physically tired, but mentally. I had to give them leave, a respite from the chase on shore. Perfect, I had always wanted to let more than ten score men on land and hope that they would do no more plundering than the entire army could.

"Land ho, my lord!" came a cry from above. I nodded, unsurprised. We had been skirting the Earth nation coast for a week now, and sightings came from time to time. I was not prepared, however, when a longer message was relayed to me: "It looks like preparations for a Festival of Conquest are going on in one of the towns, my lord!" I saw the heads turn and the hopeful smiles exchanged by some of the sailors.

There was my solution. A Festival would be just the thing to raise my men's morale once more, and touching base with our army would possibly give me more information on the whereabouts of the avatar. I gave the order to head to port, and went below.

* * *

Uncle was drinking his tea, ginseng by the smell that pervaded the room. He took a sip, and said, "So, Prince Zuko, what is the news? I can hear a lot of activity up there, and we've changed course."

He had not invited me to sit, so in his presence I remained standing. "A Festival of Conquest is starting soon in an Earth village on the coast. I have ordered that the men be given time onshore for three days."

"Sit down, you silly boy, and join an old man for some breakfast." Flustered, I took a cushion that was on the floor and knelt across from him, a sign of respect. He offered me some tea, and then a bowl of the gruel I had eaten every day for too long. I took it with grace, I hope, and began eating. "Why?" he eventually said.

"Why what, Uncle?"

"Why did you order such a thing? There has to be a reason."

"The men are tired, Uncle. I owe it to them to give them relief for a time."

He gave me an appraising look, and I felt like a schoolboy. Had I given the correct order? I hadn't even considered it until then, and now the uncertainty washed over me like a tide. I struggled not to let it show on my face, though; a commander never second guesses himself.

Uncle chuckled, totally startling me. "It's true. I was wondering whether you would notice, Prince Zuko."

I felt ashamed, and managed to croak, "How long has it escaped my attention?"

"Oh, no, not long at all, a few days at most. I would have told you in a week or so, if nothing had changed." Still, I felt as though I had failed the men I commanded, to have been so inattentive. "Don't be so glum. You are improving, and that is enough for now."

"No, Uncle, I have to be better than this. I am in command now, and these people are depending on me. I do not have the option of failure." Stupid, stupid, stupid…the dream returned, making it difficult for me to think or focus on Uncle's next words.

"You're no more than a child yet. You do not have to be ready for such things."

"I am in command, regardless of my age. I _do_ have to be ready." There was an insistent voice in the back of my head, prying at my thoughts.

_Fire is an absolute._

I had to be in control of myself and my mind. I could almost feel myself becoming angry.

_I am not ready._

Uncle said, "You are not. Don't let it bother you; there is all the time in the world to prepare."

I threw my cup across the room, sending shards of pottery to the ground. Suddenly on my feet, I furiously grabbed a lantern and its holder to light my path and shivered momentarily with the passage of another tiny flame from me to the oil-soaked wick. With a growled goodbye, I stormed out of the room, and, outside my own cabin, immediately regretted it. Uncle had only shown me my shortcomings; I needed to learn to improve upon them. But I had no handle on my temper. It was another thing to correct.

There were always so many things to correct.

* * *

It was almost time for the Festival to begin. I had set a watch of twenty men to guard and keep the ship for a time; another twenty had been ordered to return midway through the celebrations to relieve them. No man would totally miss the Festival of Conquest, and even I felt the beginnings of youthful anticipation. I had never attended a Festival of Conquest before, per say, but I had heard much.

"My lord, you asked to meet with the ranking officer?" one of the victorious (if slightly drunk) men said. I nodded swiftly, disgusted. I would never permit my men alcohol on duty, regardless of pending merriment. He blearily pointed me to a large building, formerly the major's mansion, I assumed. Such was the common practice of the Fire nation army; immediately consume all remains of the last regime. I entered the main office with a flourish, or, at the least, attempted to.

"Prince Zuko, is it?" Obviously the general, who possessed an abundance of hair above his eyes, had partaken of a few drinks as well. Again, I nodded.

"General Tohn, I would congratulate you and your men on your triumph in the name of my father the Emperor." I cringed at the mere mention of the man, and resisted the urge to touch my disfigurement.

"Well met and accepted…my lord," he bowed cheerfully with some hesitation. I was, after all, the banished prince; code of conduct is somewhat sketchy on the subject of exiles. With the pleasantries aside, I decided to get down to business.

"Is there any news of the avatar in this area?"

He looked confused, and then slurred out, "I do believe some of the men reported hearing about him from the villagers. _You_ know," he raised his unkempt and distracting eyebrows conspiratorially, "when the women were being…interrogated."

He meant rape, I knew, but I chose to ignore the incentive of such a conversation. Fighting bile in my throat, I said, "I come also to request supplies for my journey."

"Yes, naturally, and what all would that entail?" Men are always more generous when they feel they have more to give.

"Enough food and water to keep two hundred fifty men at sea for three months, General, if it is not too much to ask." That gave him pause. I could see the wheels turning, the calculations; could he afford to just give away that much? He knew as well as I did that the supply trains were coming less and less often. The Fire nation was losing its grip on the peripherals of its newfound empire. However, I also knew that no self-respecting firebender could stand upon a challenged ego. "Of course, if you cannot accommodate, I can always go elsewhere. It is a sad day indeed when the renowned name of the great General Tohn is tarnished by such a thing." I had never heard of him before that day, but the temperament of most 'underappreciated' soldiers is easy to surmise.

"Nonsense, I will not have it!" he shouted, a little too loudly. I proffered a sheet of paper, watched him sign it, and tucked it into a pouch.

Bowing low, I said, "My thanks, General. I will remember this." It was gone from my mind as I left the room. I have progressed in my studies of diplomacy over the years.

* * *

After passing the order from the general to my second-in-command, I changed into more decorative robes and made my way to the center of attention; an enormous display of firebending in the form of the Fire nation emblem standing thirty feet in the air. There were other benders around the leader, all showing off with minor fireplays. I watched and tried to commit their stances to memory before moving on.

I purchased a festival mask with no face, only an intricate pattern of oranges, yellows, and reds. Walking around to the different stalls, I stopped when an unusual commotion taking place in a back alleyway caught my eye.

It was a slave auction.

Drawn by a horrible fascination, I walked to the back of the small and somewhat cramped audience. Two masked men in front of me were discussing the great drop in price of the 'commodities' – I could only assume he meant the people to be sold – since the surplus. One answered the other with a long and rambling anecdote about his great-grandfather's slave, that later became his wife. I was nearly bored to tears before a brawny man took the raised platform that was meant as a stage.

"Now, we all know why we're here," he started, in a rumbling, thick voice. There were scattered instances of elbowing and chuckles. "The army's gotten itself so many new captives, it hardly knows what to do with them!"

The slaves were the captured remains of the defeated village. My stomach gave a nauseated lurch.

Now several catcalls were made from the other side of me, and I turned to look. A line of twenty women or so, some barely more than girls, was being led to the raise platform. I saw that their left ankles were all chained together, but their hands were left free. All except one, and it was she that threw me off balance; she could have been no older than I was, but her wrists were held in chains that led to her feet, making her posture bent and hunched over.

There was a look in her eyes of hatred so complete it almost made me hate myself, as well. Looking closer, I saw that she had light skin and dark blonde hair,with eyes of deepest blue. I felt myself take another breath; I hadn't inhaled for a long while. This girl was beautiful.

I stayed back, observing the muffled (and occasionally not-so-muffled) sobbing of mothers watching their daughters taken from them with mild horror. One pair resisted any attempt to part, before kissing wildly. That, admittedly, startled me quite a bit; I had to turn away. One obese man paid fifty coins for the both of them, laughing about his own personal entertainment. I nearly retched.

Next came the chained girl. The muscled overseer called, "And now we have the last of the true earthbenders of this pitiful village! The rest were killed or surrendered, to be sold as little more than sheep! Who among you had the balls to tame this one?" And there was silence. No one would want a dangerous girl, too young for most tastes, in their homes.

"Ten coins." The audience parted to reveal me, masked still, at the back, and I realized that I had been the one to speak. No one bid higher, and the girl was cleanly lifted off her feet to be brought to me. She struggled, but was limited by the chains, and soon was dropped in a heap at my feet. Only then did she speak, in a vehement hiss.

"My sister! I beg of you, my sister! I can't be parted from her, and if I am, you'll be dead within the week!" I blinked, amazed; what person in their right mind threatens the one man that could help them? I remembered that she thought I was another of the nauseating men that would soon be defiling the rest of the women that she had known all her life. I had no intention of doing such an act with her.

I looked at the next girl, perhaps nine years old, with pale skin and fair hair. What had I to lose? "Fifteen for both?" I ventured, and the overseer shrugged. She was too young to hope for more. This girl was deposited into my arms – she had a broken leg, andcould not walk. She almost seemed too light and fragile to be real, and I held her easily. As I paid what I owed, I was given the key to my new slaves' chains.

* * *

It was no more than an hour before I learned to regret my actions. The earthbender – whose name, I had learned, was Amara – always searched for a way to escape. That had eventually been remedied by my decision to carry Kiri, her sister, myself. Amara, it seemed, would not leave without Kiri.

Thus did I gain my two slaves,both strangers that would soon seem like family.


	3. The Rumors

I opened my eyes blearily, vaguely aware that I had awoken for a reason. However, I had no idea what that could have been. A sharp rap came on my cabin door, obviously for the second or third time, and I groaned. Climbing down, the sharp sting of my heels on the wood jolted me to some semblance of consciousness, I looked around.

The knocking came again. "Wake up, my _lord_!" a cry came; the last word was spat, and that confused me. None of my men treated me with such disrespect. What was more, the voice was female. Who was it?

I rubbed my scar, a habit of mine, and sighed. Of course – Amara. I had bought her the night before, and officially made her my steward. Generally the position was reserved for a man, but I had nowhere else to put her. To be honest, none of my men could cook worth a waterbender's promise as it was.

The door reverberated with the force of her next blow. "Open your eyes!" Amara yelled from behind it, and then burst in. Caught unawares, I stood bent over from the low ceiling and stared stupidly at her, mildly amused to see her fully dressed, as opposed to my current attire, which was only loose-fitting trousers. Well, at least hers was a pleasant face to see first thing in the morning.

Her fair cheeks turned from pink to pinker in very quick succession, and she stammered out what I presumed was an apology (for whose benefit, I couldn't guess) and slammed the door shut as she left. From out in the corridor, she said, "Y-your breakfast is ready…Prince." She obviously hesitated over what to call me, and understandably so.

"I'm no prince of yours." Somewhere it had registered that a girl had seen me as close to naked as a girl my age ever had, and I hurriedly dressed. I opened the door, to see her with her eyes squeezed shut, and suppressed an eye roll. "I'm dressed now. Feel free to just call me Zuko, though no one ever has before."

She opened her eyes, and scowled. "That will only feed the already rampant rumors about why you purchased us." She was trying very hard to burn my uniform with a glare. I had nearly forgotten what the Fire nation army had down to her town. I decided to ignore it, for now.

"And what rumors would those be?" I made my way past her to go up on deck, and saw that no one was there, save for the few men ordered to remain. I had also forgotten that I had granted the men leave for another two days. There would be no one to command.

Amara walked up behind me and pushed a tin plate into my hands. On it were four pancakes, the likes of which I had rarely seen. Amara cut into my hungry reverie by saying, "I know it's not much…"

Anything that didn't involve that awful gruel was a slice of heaven at that point, for all intents and purposes. I hurriedly began eating.

She gave me a withering look, and finished with, "…but I could have made better with more stores."

"Well," I admit, I had absolutely zero inspiration when cooking was involved, "what kind of things would you need? I could go into town and purchase anything. There is nothing to be done on the ship."

"It would be better if I got them myself…Zuko. You would get lost looking for an apple." She looked gloomy for a moment, and added, "It would be like saying goodbye to our old life."

"But Kiri's leg is broken; she's staying in the infirmary. It wouldn't be fair to her, would it?" I was silently praying that I wouldn't have to take this girl shopping. She was hard enough to keep track of as it was, always trying to get away.

"You can carry her, can't you?" She gave me a bright, hopeful smile, and started going below. I brushed my scar quickly, annoyed. When only her head was visible, I caved.

"Wait," I called. She turned to look at me, with what I suspect was a look of triumph in her eyes. "Do you promise not to run, Amara?"

She gave me a slow nod, saying thoughtfully, "Kiri's leg is broken, so I couldn't make it far with her. I'm not going anywhere that's she's not, either. And I wouldn't have a place to go in the first place. It looks like you're stuck with me," again, a slight hesitation, "Zuko."

* * *

"Alright, all I need is a chicken and I'll bet set," Amara said after racing around the town for an hour. I held in a sigh of relief, and set Kiri down on the edge of a demolished fountain. Despite the fact that it was bustling with people, the Earth nation village was still a war zone. Catching my eye, the older sister motioned for me to join her. I pushed myself back up, and made my way over to her.

"What is it?" I asked, keeping one eye on Kiri the whole time. She happily fiddled with a piece of paper, folding it into a model of an airbender's gliding contraption. It reminded me of the avatar, and I realized that there was no other way for one as young as she was to know what a glider even looked like. I would have to ask her about it.

"I need to ask a favor…please." Amara had trouble with asking for help, I noted distractedly. Mayhap it would come in handy, but I generally tried to remember as much as I could about people as it was. "Can I get a gift for my sister?"

Confused, I demanded, "Why would you need to?"

"It's her birthday in about one week. I want to have something for her, from home." She put her hands together in a symbol of begging, but opened one eye to look at me, like a small child. I tossed her a few coins, resigned to the idea that she would never leave me alone otherwise. She merely looked at them incredulously, until she said, "My own parents wouldn't let me buy a gift for Kiri! Zuko, thank you." She met my eyes with a fleeting glance, and hurried away.

I stood there, awed. She had looked so _different_ when she was grateful for something. I had the distinct feeling that she would look at me like that if I helped her sister in any way. _My_ sister certainly would never feel that way; she and I didn't see eye to eye on any subject.

"Um…" Kiri murmured, on the edge of my hearing. I turned to her, and she quailed under my gaze. She really was a very frail girl, and I hadn't really spoken to her yet. Reminding myself to think pleasant, non-violent thoughts, I attempted – and failed miserably at – a smile. "Z-Zuko…my leg hurts like this…" I quickly resettled her splinted leg and took a seat beside her. We must have made quite a sight, a small, slight little girl like her next to a disfigured boy like me. I rubbed my scar, remembering all the different range of shocked looks I had gotten since my defeat at my father's hands.

Staring along her tiny model glider, to check how straight she had made it perhaps, she blew on it and the wind lifted the thin frame. There was a flash of joy at her success – the most emotion I had seen from her yet – and she blew more vigorously. The thing floated off her hand, and continued forward for a good twenty feet before diving to the stony ground. Unprompted, I went to retrieve it, and gave it back to her.

"It's bent on the front, I think," I said. "But, it did well on its maiden voyage. Tell me, Kiri," it had been preying on my mind the entire time I had watched her with the glider, "Where did you see something like this?"

Her eyes grew wide, and she whispered reverently, "I was told not to tell, _especially_ not anyone form the Fire nation."

Now I grew serious, and said, "Was the avatar here, in this village?"

Color flushed her cheeks, and she looked at the broken toy she had made. "He told me never to tell. I had to swear it, on the Earth herself. I can't break a promise like that, Zuko. Please don't ask anymore." I didn't say anything else, but I knew the avatar had come by her words alone. I would have to ask Amara, then, much though I dreaded it. She would be difficult to interrogate.

Remembering that I had bought something specifically for her, I pulled out a bag of sugared mint leaves, and put one on my tongue. I offered the bag to her, and she smiled hesitantly, but she took one as well. We sat in silence for a spell, sucking the candies. "Kiri, how did you break your leg?" I asked suddenly, furrowing my brow. I looked over at her, and she had an expression of abject horror on her face.

"It was a soldier," Amara broke in loudly, startling me. She was holding a chicken in its cage, though it had to have been fairly heavy. "After our parents were slaughtered in our home – we had been out – I pulled Kiri to a hiding place. It didn't last for long." She sighed, and sat down on the other side of Kiri than me, and the younger leaned onto the older easily. "When we were found, he said that, if we were _very_ good and didn't scream, then he'd get us all to himself. So, I dropped roughly a ton of earth on him. We both tried to run, but his friend slowed us down by throwing a truncheon at a little girl's leg. I held them off, by eventually there were too many of the firebenders, and they captured us."

I stared deeply at my hands. If they had been purchased by anyone else at that auction, Kiri's leg most likely would never have been splinted, and she would have healed crippled. Amara would have been used too many times in a very lewd way, and I shivered to think of it. "You were fortunate not to have been bought by someone else," I said thoughtfully.

"Fortunate? _Fortunate?_ Is that what we are?" Amara gave a snort of disbelief. "I'm not even all that sure I would have been worse off with some leering, demented fool, to be honest."

I started to argue, totally not understanding her resistance. "Now, be fair, I haven't even touched you, and by now you would have been-"

"Raped," she interjected bluntly. "Several times. The soldiers guarding all of us were kind enough to describe it to us. And, true, you haven't touched me – yet. My sister and I have been given a gracious home on board a ship with hundreds of sex-starved soldiers, all of whom barely consider us worthy enough to consider their attentions harassment." Amara stood up quickly, and piled all of our purchases on me, opting to carry Kiri, the lighter of the two loads, herself. She gave me an appraising look. "Do not think I am deaf to the men's rumors."

She headed back to where the ship lay in dock, and I hurried to walk beside her. "What rumors, then?"

"They say that their prince has become a man, and has opted to find his pleasures chained to a bedpost, rather than roaming free and elusive. They say that I have bewitched you into taking us away from our ruined village. At least three swear on Fire's heat that they heard us awake half the night with our games. And, that worst of all is those that say you only bought the both of us for a youthful ménage a trois." She looked at me from the corner of her eye, as though she couldn't believe that I hadn't known. "There are high stake on which can seduce me first. I believe the favorite is a young man that had every girl at home weeping for his return."

I blinked, and blinked again, completely surprised. I knew that the men talked, naturally; one could tell of unrest by the volume and high spirits. I had never thought of exactly what they spoke of in the first place. Now I knew; they were more of chatterboxes then women at a chore. With a sort of mortified fascination, I asked, "Is that all they say about me?"

"I have heard at least five different reasons for that scar of yours." I automatically tried to raise my hand to rub it, but I was holding too many things. "Three of them involve women. One involves a man, actually, and that's fairly entertaining, but you didn't strike me as having the airbender's disease (**A/n** there were ten very old men in a temple, alone, with hundreds of boys. Honestly). And the last…is a tale of a child, who was forced to become a man at the wrong end of a flame."

"Oh," was all I said, as I fought a tide of blood rushing to my cheeks. "If anything, it's that last one."

"I thought it might have been. You don't strike me as the type to court many women." She threw a laughing glance, and whispered something to Kiri, who hadn't said anything at all for a while. They both started giggling, most likely at my expense.

We had reached the edge of the pier, and I focused solely on getting aboard without blushing embarrassingly. I had to be perfect; it wouldn't do to seem weak in front of my men. I deposited the purchases as directed, and took Kiri below decks to the infirmary once again. As I left again, I passed Amara in the tight corridor, and put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"What exactly did you mean by what you said on the pier?" I said quietly, mindful of Kiri on the other sid of a door. Amara looked confused, until I said, "I'm not the type to court many women?"

"Oh, that was just a joke. I'm sure there are plenty of anal, uptight girls just dying to throw themselves at your feet back home, Zuko." Her eyes flashed sarcastically. I was not amused; taunts and slanders were not permissible on my ship or in my company.

"You tread on unsteady ground, earthbender." I passed her more awkwardly than I had hoped to, but still I attempted to walk with dignity. I heard the infirmary door open and close, and looked back slowly. I could hear, faintly, the muffled voices of both girls. Careful not to make a sound, I crept back to listen.

"Is something wrong, Ama?" Kiri asked softly. There was a creak as someone sat down on a chair that was bolted there for visiting purposes.

"It's that damned 'owner' of ours. He's such a prude. He can't even take one joke with a smile!" Amara sounded exceedingly furious.

"He shouldn't have to," I pressed my ear closer, barely able to hear the quiet girl, "he's a commander."

"Commander of what, pray tell? You saw him. He doesn't even know what his men are up to. How could he ever manage them properly?"

"He was nice to _me_…"

"You think everyone's nice if they're not kicking you. I saw your face when you two were talking."

"That's just because-"

"Don't make it lighter than it was, Kiri."

"He asked me about the avatar." All movement and sound ceased. I felt that my heartbeats alone would give me away, but nothing happened.

Finally, Amara murmured, "Who is this boy? Who is he, to seek the avatar _here_, of all places?"

Silently, I slipped down the corridor before I could be found out.


	4. The Problem

"What do you mean, you don't understand? It's not very difficult to see," Uncle said dismissively, two days after we had left port.

"Well_, I _don't see whatever it is that isn't difficult to see," I barked, annoyed, as I paced the length of his room. Oddly enough, this was where I came to think, for no apparent reason. Uncle tended to make me focus more on what I should have done, not what I had to do. It gave me a chance to unwind. In this case, I came to release untold amounts of anger. "She's so…aggravating!"

"If you don't see it, it is not my place to say, Prince Zuko. If I may, have you learned anything new?"

I stopped, and thought for a moment. "The avatar came through that village. I do not know when. Kiri told me that she was sworn to secrecy over it."

"Nothing else? No new skills or details of proper command? I would have thought that exposure to new people would have uncovered something significant."

I continued the quick steps. "I learned to listen to what the men actually say, not just how they say it."

"Oh?" Uncle looked surprised, something that happened once in a blue moon. "I had expected far less for only a few days together."

"And what precisely does that mean?"

"Nothing, nothing."

My footsteps made a steady tattoo on the floorboards, as I stewed in my rage, and listed exactly why, in every detail, I hated Amara. One: she insulted me, often. Two: she apologized insincerely and sarcastically. Three: she presented problems and signs of dissent in the crew. Four: she presented problems and flaws in _me_. Five: she was the exact polar opposite of me, and it was _infuriating_. In, somehow, an exhilarating and desirable way, but, by Fire, it was making a mess of me!

Uncle watched my inner struggle, and said, "You could just try to set any faults you see aside, until you know her better."

"I don't even know who you're talking about." Of course I knew. Amara… I couldn't seem to escape her.

"Well, then, you also don't know who I'm talking about when I mention a certain rumor amongst the men."

I turned my head sharply to glare at him, as I remembered the wild tales of my disfigurment. "I have heard of a few. Of which do we speak?"

He raised his eyebrows at me, and said slowly, "The one involving the seduction slash rape of a fourteen-year-old girl?"

"Oh." I allowed myself to blush, but only in his presence. I was letting my temper get ahead of myself, one of the things I longed to change. "What about it?"

"Actually, all I wanted was to raise the _subject_ of the seduction slash rape of a fourteen-year-old girl, Prince Zuko."

He was doing it again, acting omniscient and obviously trying to 'subtly' influence and guide me. I scowled impetuously. "You are insufferable, Uncle." Then again, since he brought it up, I mulled it over in my mind. I would have to become more involved. Amara was supposed to be under my control, _and there she was on my mind once more_, but so were all of my men. I was supposed to have total jurisdiction of the situation, and it gave every evidence of being just so.

I stopped suddenly, tapped my heels together with a solemn click. "Uncle," I started, meeting his eyes, "I would make a small supposition."

He only chuckled, and said, "It's sounding more like a confession so far, Prince Zuko."

"Perhaps. I suspect, but have no proof that, some or several parts of the situation I find myself in are outside of my authority."

"Are you joking?" I glowered at him until he stopped laughing, and said, "_Of course _something is out of your control, boy. This is life, and, though this may come as a shock to you, it's very, very different from command. I have always thought that failing to see that was your greatest weakness as a leader."

I opened my eyes wide in surprise, and said, "You are an exceedingly evil man, Uncle. If you see all these things, why do you not tell me? This horrible step-by-step process is like pulling teeth. I only want to be a competent leader, but you are being too _incessantly_ secretive."

"I am attempting to spare you adulthood for as long as humanly possible, Prince Zuko. I should know; I had a great teacher when I was your age. And now I regret that. I wish that I discovered much more about life for myself. Adolescence is a very tumultuous time, and it requires much more patience than you seem to have. It is why most wait until it is over before taking command of more than two hundred men, incidentally."

"It's so…exasperating! You know all of it before I do, but you make me go through all of it anyway, because you think it'll be good for my _character_?" Unbelievably, Amara's lovely face surfaced in my mind. She had been trying to improve my character, as well, it suddenly dawned on me. And I had lost my temper. "She won't leave my thoughts!" I growled.

"I thought you didn't know of whom we spoke?" Uncle smirked, and sighed. "Well, if you truly don't see your own infatuation with her, it is not my place to say. But, do your pacing in your own room, as a favor to a tired, old man. You've worn a veritable groove into my floorboards." As I turned to leave, frustrated, he added, "Try not to be angry with her only because of what _you_ feel, Prince Zuko."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Uncle." I wanted to scream, _I am not infatuated with her!_ but, no matter how I tried to phrase the words, it sounded like the arguments of a child denying the obvious.

"Oh, I can see that, I think," he waved me off with a smirk.

* * *

I made my way up on deck, and took a deep breath, surveying the ordered chaos of a well-run ship. Some men worked on cleaning the deck, some secured ropes and various devices that were no longer needed, and some were merely standing watch over the proceedings at several points to ensure accuracy and diligence. I could hear… mumbling. Energetic, fast, interested - I could hear the men's eagerness to talk. I didn't know what they were talking about, but my conversations both with Amara and Uncle gave me some limited imagination on that score.

It was like a new world to me, trying to understand my men. One of them was moving more quickly than others, and I tried to imagine why that would be. Had he won a bet? Another moved sluggishly. Had he been the one to lose? I saw that some of the men talked to the ones next to them, and some didn't. Was it temper, personality, or friendship that caused all these different traits? If I closed my eyes, I could imagine lines intersecting, connecting some people together and separating others. There was an entire world on my own ship that I had no part of.

One line lead straight from me to below deck, and, as I kept my eyes closed to watch this line I had imagined, the end rose to be level with me. The person was moving around. I fixed their position in my mind, and looked with my eyes open.

Amara stood before me, dressed in an ankle-length green robe tied with a borrowed red belt. She looked almost as though she belonged on the Fire nation ship, with the deep red, but still stood with more poise than I had ever seen outside the Earth nation. I was glad that she didn't look like she was from the Fire nation, with her high cheekbones and wide eyes, to be honest. She said, "What are you doing?"

I blinked, confused. Where was the mystery person? "I was trying to concentrate on something."

She shook her head, agitated. "Never mind that now. I must tell you something."

I said sarcastically, "Will anything I could say possibly make you not tell me?"

"What was that?"

"Nothing. You were saying?"

She turned her back to the railing and leaned against it, saying, "Hao is becoming a problem."

"Sorry, who?"

"Hao, the favorite of the wagers on my," she blushed, something I had seen only once before, "my virginity." Huh. That was a fun nugget of information; I filed it away, under my growing label of 'Amara'. She looked away and continued, "He has been making certain…advances. I ask you, as the captain of this vessel, contain the problem before it gets out of hand."

"I have been working on it. I do not know my men, and it worries me. This may be outside of my control as captain. Do you have any propositions? Much though I hate to say it, I do not know what to do."'

She nodded, smiling, her embarrassment forgotten. I liked it when she smiled, but mentally slapped myself before I started staring. "I have one, but it is not going to be well-received, I think."

"At this point, it is the only one, so there will be nothing to lose."

She took a deep breath, and sounded unsure as she said, "We should be more public about our… involvement."

"I thought we established that we are _not_ involved."

"_I_ know that, of course! But everyone else thinks that we're," she fumbled for the right words, "_better friends_ than that! If you were more, shall we say, territorial, Hao might hesitate before doing anything untoward with me. So, please, will you at least consider it?" She looked worried, and that, in turn, worried me. Amara was, quite probably, the most strong-willed girl I had ever met (discounting my sister), and, to my knowledge, she didn't scare easily.

"It is enough, a good plan. But I have to ask a favor of you and Kiri; I do not want the men to know that I wish to listen to what they say. So, the favor I ask is…" I saw her run her eyes over me and raise her hand over her chest protectively as she moved away. I stepped forward, horrified, and said, "No, no, you know I don't mean _that_! I want you and Kiri to tell me what they talk about. Could you do that, for me?"

"For you?" She lowered her hand, and stepped forward. I was confused until she winked and glanced to the men, several of which, I could plainly see, were staring. I nodded minutely, and stepped closer as well. We were inches apart. The men looking on nudged others and soon more than half the crew had stopped to see. She leaned in and whispered in my ear, "_Anything_ for you, Zuko. I'll tell Kiri, down below. Join us when you can." She brushed my unscathed right cheek with her lips, making my skin flush a deep red. There were cheers from the men, and I made a gesture to the officers meant to keep order.

I ducked below quickly, to more catcalls and varied levels of congratulations. As I glanced back, I saw a handsome man, eighteen, the youngest that he could have joined the Fire navy, being slapped on the back and egged on. Hao, I assumed. I went below, to the infirmary.

"Good afternoon, Zuko," Kiri greeted me quietly, "Have you had a nice day?" She was still bedridden until her leg healed in, as the doctor said, about two weeks. I saw that she was wearing a brown necklace, woven out of dried hemp and supporting a pendant shaped as a glossy obsidian bird.

"Insofar as was possible, I think so, Kiri. Some inner turmoil, some conspiring against my crew…the usual." I felt very tired, and attempted a smile to reassure her of my sanity. "Happy birthday, by the way." She gave me a blank stare, and Amara looked amazed. "It _is_ today, correct? I had it fixed in my mind…" In all honesty, I had had no idea until I saw her necklace. It was what Amara had bought for her at the market, and she hadn't had it the day before. "Is that wrong?"

"No," Kiri fixed her clasped hands with a nervous stare, fiddling with the sheets of her bed, "it's not wrong. I just thought that it would be forgotten. After what happened to…after what happened."

"I would never, ever forget, Kiri, now more than ever." Amara slid her arm around the pale girl's thin shoulders, and I wondered idly if Kiri was turning ten. I couldn't judge age well to begin with, but I thought it was around there. "A girl's fourteenth birthday is very important," she added, and my heart felt like it had stopped. She was as old as we were? As in, she was really that small for her age? She looked years younger! They saw my surprise, and Amara asked, "Why, how old did _you_ think she was?"

I somehow found my voice, and a strangled cry emerged as, "Younger than _that_!" Nine or ten at most, I had thought. Oh, how wrong I had been! Fire knew how she had come to be so frail, but a girl shouldn't be so small, at an age near mine. "But, Amara, you're older, correct?" I'm not sure what I would have done if I had discovered that even there I was wrong, but she nodded.

"She's around half a year younger, to be sure, but it's really not that much. Why, how old are you?"

"Almost fifteen, only a few more months, I think. How can you two be so close in age? I mean no disrespect, of course, to either of you. Siblings can't be less than nine months apart, or more than a few days, because," I nearly flushed at this. I did not have much experience of such things, and hardly felt comfortable telling girls things like this as it was. "Well, you know, I'm sure."

"Yes, I think I see what you're fumbling to say. Because a woman can only give birth every nine months, or sometimes might have twins, what with pregnancy and that - it's really more than ten, even if she tries - I could not possible have a sister near to six months younger." I swallowed and nodded, easily out of my element, and almost envied her the confidence with which she spoke. "Kiri isn't my blood sister."

I saw Kiri's thin hand - I couldn't believe she was less than a year younger than me! - tighten on her sister's green robe, and I saw that she was mildly terrified of what would be said. Amara bent her head to listen to her momentarily, and straightened with a sigh. I thought that she would say more, but Kiri murmured, "I was adopted, but no one saw whoever left me in Mother's arms. She standing in the market one moment, and the next, someone bumped into her and she was holding a little baby."

I nodded, for I knew that this was a very forward display for her. I continued for her, "So, she was kind and raised you, and you had what sounds like a wonderful childhood until-"

"Until your people came and destroyed all of it." Amara snapped testily, her arm around Kiri's shoulder still, pulled tighter in anger. "And now you see why I hate this ship that carries me for the emblem it bears, and the men that leer at me for the too-fresh memories they uncover, and that uniform you wear for every single one of the soldiers that walk our streets."

There was an atmosphere of such charged hatred in the room now that I couldn't help but retreat to the hallway with some sort of farewell. I went back up on deck, to find Uncle commanding in my stead. I stood to the side, watching him, and trying to catch snippets of what the men said. Some were speaking of what they hoped for dinner to be, and other trivial, narrow-minded things. I heard just the hint of sniggering laughter at the bow, forward from me. I was at the stern, and made my way quietly into a shadow close enough to hear them.

One, the apparent leader of the gang, slapped a tall man on the back and laughed, "You have some stiff competition, Hao!" I could see that it was indeed the eighteen-year-old I had seen earlier. I knew what they were talking about; Amara. I stomached a few more increasingly vulgar comments, before stepping out into the sunlight with a scowl. An uncomfortable silence snapped in place immediately as ten elbows simultaneously nudged ten sides.

Hao stood with a closed mouth, looking very solemn. "My lord, good afternoon." I appreciated that he didn't simply act as though nothing had happened.

"Good afternoon," I racked my mind for his rank, came up with nothing, and went with age alone, "Private Hao. May I ask what is so fascinating as to keep a good ten men from their tasks?"

"We were…" Hao seemed to not want to go on, and, as it turned out, he didn't have to. The boisterous leader, who looked to be senior of the rabble, though he couldn't have been over twenty, jumped in front of Hao and began speaking.

"We were discussing your lovely bride-to-be, my lord," he bowed low, almost sarcastically. I didn't penalize him, because I was in an irritable mood after what Amara had said and wanted to settle the entire problem as it stood now. "The beauteous… Amara, was her name?"

"Lon, remember who you speak to," Hao hissed. I saw that he was indeed handsome, but he was the usual, dull caste of soldier. This Lon, though, would be a challenge, especially if he was one pushing Hao to act on the bet. He wasn't a particularly good-looking man, but it wasn't as though he was disfigured, as I was.

I remembered that I was expected to answer at some point, as the course of the conversation. "Yes, you do have a point; she _is_ lovely. She is not my bride-to-be, as yet, but she is not yours to discuss in such a manner."

"Of course not, my lord," Lon said with a sneering curl to his lip. I very much disliked the man. "But it seems that young Hao has had some fair money wagered both for and against him, and we were cajoling him into some action over it."

"You were admittedly encouraging him to attempt to woo my _slave_? Have you no sense of survival, Private?" He was certainly being up front.

"It's all in fun, my lord."

"Amara doesn't find it to be so."

"What does that matter? She is a woman, and of the Earth nation, and a slave, my lord." I had not told any but Uncle that she was an earthbender, but, if I had let the fact slip, I'm sure Lon would have said it against her here, as well.

I was blindingly furious at this insolent man - six years older than I, mind you, but I could still best him in any duel. The wind picked up, and I heard Kiri whisper in my ear, "No, Zuko. Please. Not for something so small as this. Calm yourself; is this the sort of leader you want to be?" I took her words to heart, but did not look around at her. I had to keep eye contact with this man, and wouldn't have turned my back on him for anything in the four nations.

"Private Lon, you are out of line," I signaled one of the peace-keepers nearby, "And you will be escorted down to the brig." I struggled for a few seconds with the proper words. "If I ever hear of another man's hand on Amara, there will be no question of what I'll do." I held my hand up at chest level a certain way, and carefully flicked my wrist to leave my palm up toward the sky. A small, strong, bright fireball came at this call, and I held it for long enough to get my message across. I dropped it suddenly, and it flaredwith heat oncebefore hitting the metal deck.

As I stalked away, my mind was on a suitable punishment for Lon. I would have to come up with something more dire than some few lashes for rude speech, but could not bring Amara's dignity into the fray, because I did _not_, for the _last time_, have a _crush_ on her. What my mind was _not_ on was what Kiri had been doing outside the infirmary with a broken leg, or why she had disappeared from behind me before I even saw her, or even the odd expression on Amara's face the next day, a mixture of gratitude and shock.

My life seemed to be quite a bit more interesting since the girls had come.


	5. The Ballast Chamber

I opened my eyes to darkness and the regular lurch of the ship. I was sure I had awoken for a reason. I just didn't remember it at the time. I reached to touch my toes before setting my feet on the floor, which set sharp stings running up my ankles. This was the way I woke up every morning, unpleasant though it was. My finger crooked and twisted, sending a small flame to light the candle in the corner. I could see the dim interior of my room now, and fingered my scar as I looked into a small mirror.

A knock came at the door. "Zuko?" I smiled to myself. Amara. She had woken me up every day for a week; I should have been used to it by now. At least she said my name without hesitation by that time. Since she had learned her lesson the first day, she said cautiously, "Are you decent?"

I looked down at myself. I was wearing what I always wore to bed: loose trousers and no shirt. "No, but how is the weather?" I said brightly. I felt alright today. There hadn't been anything unsettling to happen for quite some time; Lon had received as many lashes as was legal (which, as it turned out, were four dozen in number), and the rumors about Amara and I had reportedly settled down.

She sighed, and I heard her lean against the wall outside. "The sky was clear, last time I checked. Are you going to be dressed any time soon?"

I pulled on my uniform quickly, and opened the door. She was holding a tin tray of two fried eggs, and handed it to me curtly. I made my way passed her as smoothly as possible - the hallways on a ship were never intended for two-way traffic - and started walking down the hall. She fell in step behind me, and together we made our way to the infirmary.

"Good morning, Zuko. Good morning, Amara," Kiri said in a small voice as we walked in. "I'm happy to see you both. What's on the agenda for today?" I was beginning to accept the fact that she did everything very, very timidly.

"Actually, Kiri, this is the part where sailing becomes boring." I sat on one of the hammocks, holding myself as steadily as possible with the gentle rocking of the calm sea, and started eating.

Amara lifted her sister up and sat directly under her. I shook my head and repressed the sudden urge to take Kiri's place. The older smiled at me, and said, "I don't like it here, you know. No solid earth around me to take my bearings. I feel like the thing's going to capsize with every lurch. You're not very good at keeping passengers entertained, are you?"

"Technically, you two aren't passengers. Amara, you're my steward, and Kiri, you'll be helping her once you're healthy again." Halfway done, I handed my plate to the slight girl, who smiled her thanks shyly. "We would have something to do with ourselves if we had any leads on the avatar, but until then, we'll keep in sight of the coast and look for signs of the Fire nation army."

"Why?" Amara asked out of the silence that greeted those words. Kiri was trying to bury herself in her blanket.

"Why are we skirting the coast? We need to be able to see if there is a battalion nearby or not."

"No, why are you looking for the Avatar?" I didn't know, until that moment, that it was even possible to pronounce a capital letter. "What has he ever done to you?"

"I need to capture him in order to be welcomed back at court," I answered curtly, laying back and staring at the ceiling. I heard a single, preparatory sound, as though Amara was about to say something, but Kiri shushed her. I wouldn't have answered any more questions on that subject, had they even been asked.

Amara huffed and spat at me, "So, we'll just rot on this damned ship until you kill him for you own useless ends? You're a selfish pig."

I think, for a moment, no one even breathed. I spent the time wondering how in the world every single encounter I had with Amara turned into an argument. It was like magic, or clockwork. I slowly pulled myself to my feet, walked stiffly to the door, and threw over my shoulder, "I wouldn't kill the avatar." And I shut the door with a quiet click behind me.

I moved as if in a daze, along that corridor, down the ladder, to the deck below, again and again, until I came to the ballast chamber. It was filled with settled iron, which could be heated, melted, and shifted to a different balance at the sign of trouble. I took a deep breath in, tried to calm down, and slammed my fist against the hard metal floor. At least I was working on my temper; I had held it in for almost five minutes. I gritted my teeth and hit the floor again, harder. I needed a new anger management plan.

I breathed deeply in through my nose, and slowly let it out. I took off my shirt, and moved into the first position of my Burning Spirit _kata._ With studied motions, I went through each stance, each attack, and each defense. When you have been raised to discipline, it is an easy fallback to free your mind. I ran the whole form, and thought about things. What had happened took very little time. What had led up to it, however, did not.

Amara and Kiri knew about the avatar. I understood that they would not want to tell me about him, but to insult me instead? It wasn't as bad as it had sounded to me, I corrected myself. They didn't know how odd my involvement in this search was. If I did not find him, I would not be reinstated as a true Prince of the Fire nation. So, his capture spelt my salvation. But I hadn'timagined that Imight be the one to kill him.

I moved straight from Burning Spirit to Caged Flame, picking up speed as my thoughts turned vehement.

After all, it was a double-edged sword. If anyone else brought him in, my efforts would have been wasted. In all truth, to be caught by me would be the better fate for him. I, at least, would not allow him to be killed. And then, without any of the facts, Amara assumed that I was like every other general or admiral just out for the copious bounty my father had put on the avatar's head.

With every movement, a jet of fire spouted, and they were building up in a sort of whirlwind around me. I suddenly noticed how quickly I was moving and pulled myself up short. The flames around me died almost instantly, and I saw Amara backed against the far wall with wide eyes. I self-consciously retrieved my shirt and pulled it on. I opened my mouth to say something, realized that I had no idea what to say, and closed it again. I found myself only staring at her, shocked, and I almost felt naked. It is an odd thing to do something so easily in tandem with others and then be exposed in front of an audience.

"That…was…" Amara started to say, but she trailed off. My mind was still blank. Whatever happened, it was not going to be good. "That was…beautiful."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't jinx anything by opening my mouth.

Amara looked down, blushing. Her hair, looking almost brown instead of dark blond in the low light, covered her face in a curtain. In a small voice, she said, "I'm sorry."

"What?" I had no idea where that had come from.

She lifted her head to glare at me. "I'm not saying it again."

Of course she wouldn't. "I meant…Sorry for what?"

Now she looked somewhat guilty. "For what happened in the infirmary. Kiri scolded me. I don't know what your reasons are for this little fanatical-" She broke herself off, closed her eyes, and continued, "I don't know your reasons for your search."

"Well…" I ventured, cautiously, "I wasn't…forthcoming with the information." I wasn't any good at apologizing, either. We might have had something common, despite the underlying tension. "Do you remember what you heard about how I got this scar?" I ran my hand over it as a force of habit.

"The one about the boy that was forced to become a man at the wrong end of a flame?"

I sighed. "It was a duel. In a firebender's duel, there is a winner…and a corpse. I shouldn't theoretically be alive. Instead, Father merely exiled me and told me that I can't set foot on Fire nation soil without the avatar in tow."

"Your father…"

"…was the one that did this to me." I saw that she was shocked, and attempted a smile. "Did you think that any but the Fire Lord himself could beat me?" She rolled her eyes, reassured, and started to move toward the ladder that led to the higher decks. I didn't want her to. It was an almost pleasant moment, down in the dim ballast chambers. I couldn't think of anything to keep her, though, and reluctantly started moving also.

Without warning, she turned around in a rush and threw her arms around my neck. Very, very confused, it was all I could do to stay on my feet. When she stepped back, everywhere she had touched felt colder than before. "That was for Hao and Lon a few days ago. It scared me, not knowing what they could have managed to do between themselves. So…thank you."

"Y-you're welcome," I stuttered.

She caught my wrist in a strong grip, and inspected it critically. "You're bleeding." I looked down, too, and saw what little light there was reflecting off a trail of dripping blood. It must have happened when I punched the ground, though it didn't hurt at all.

"It's nothing, don't worry about. I didn't notice." I didn't pull my hand away; indeed, each of my senses seemed to become more perceptive. Her aroma was sweet, yet unlike anything I had smelled before; the light pooledand addedflickering highlights to her dark blond hair; the fingers pressed securely into my wrist spread a focused heat along my skin; her raw emotion showed in her voice with every syllable. For a long, breathless moment, I wondered what she tasted like. I leaned closer to her, and she looked at me curiously. She smiled, trying to diffuse the tension that had sprouted between us.

"I guess it's not so bad. If it doesn't hurt, I mean." Her voice rang outlike abell, clearing my mind of the euphoric haze her touch had brought. I shook my head, dropped my hand, and shifted my weight back, seeming to break the spell. She turned around hurriedly to grasp the unforgiving metal of the ladder which led above decks.

With her foot on the first rung, she smiled at me and said teasingly, "Don't look, Zuko, I can't climb well in a dress." Grateful that the low light hid my reddened cheeks, I turned away. She had managed to lighten the mood, at least. As she stepped up each successive rung, I thought about how much things had changed between us. We had gone from shooting daggers to joking insults. My, how time changes all things.

When we reached the infirmary, I took my previous spot on the hammock, and Amara the visitor's stool. Kiri gave us both furtive glances, and when she turned back to Amara with raised eyebrows, her older sister gave her a wide-eyed look and Kiri looked back at me in disbelief. I didn't know what had been communicated. I chalked it up to a girl thing.

"Well, much fun though the last hour has been," I stretched, stood up, and saw Amara judiciously avoiding eye contact, "my ship sometimes requires me. One of the risks of command, I fear." They waved farewell, I nodded mine, and the door clicked discreetly shut behind me. Instead of leaving, though, I waited to see what they had to say about me. I was, admittedly, curious.

Kiri said quietly, but with no small amount of disbelief, "What did you do?"

Amara coughed delicately, and I knew that she had turned toward a wall. "Nothing happened, so you can stop looking at me like that."

"When you cough like that, Sister, your words areworth a waterbender's promise."

Clothes resettled; Amara had turned back to her sister in a hurry. "You told me to apologize, so I did."

"I said to make sure he was okay, Ama," Kiri scolded quickly.

"You leave me alone!" They both laughed, and I let slip a smile.

"So," Kiri said once they had calmed down, "did you two even kiss?"

Amara sounded scandalized. "There was a moment that I thought he would… But no, we didn't." There was a thoughtful pause. "Why would we?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She sounded just as Uncle had mere days before. What was it that everyone could see but me and, apparently, Amara? "You _like_ him." Kiri had the knack of saying it like wedding bells. I forgot how to breathe for long enough to worry me, and, by the strangled sound from the other side of the door, so did Amara.

"No, I _don't_! Kiri, you know me, I hate firebenders!"

"Zuko isn't just any firebender. He's the first one you've ever gotten to know. You just choose to fight rather than befriend him."

"I'm older than you; you can't act like a reprimanding teacher! He sees me as part of his crew, and therefore as insignificant. You heard him, '_Technically, you two aren't passengers._' Bastard."

"Be patient. You know boys are stupid."

"I'm denying everything at this point, thank you."

I leaned forward, totally absorbed in their conversation in spite of myself. Conveniently, the door slowly, painfully slowly, creaked inwards, and I fell flat on the floor of the infirmary.

Sometimes life had it out for me. I froze instantly, horrified. I had been discovered by my own fault. What their faces must have looked like, I didn't dare imagine. I could feel their shocked stares boring into me.

I shot to my feet, backed out of the room, and, just before I shut the door, said as fast as possible, "For the record, I deny it all, too."

And then, for the second and final time that day, I closed the infirmary door. This time, I raced above decks and threw myself into the consuming focus of command. Hopefully, it would be enough to distract me from my horrified embarrassment.

"I just don't understand, Uncle." I was swirling my ginseng tea around in its cup, on my knees, across the low table from my mentor.

"And what are you grousing about now?"

I glared at him, opened my mouth, caught myself, and inspected my drink once more. "How do adults do it?"

He chuckled and winked suggestively. "Well, now, I thought this would come up sometime. When a man and a woman love each other very, very much, they want to be close to each other…"

"Uncle, no! That's not what I meant, and you know it!"

"Oh? Then be a little more specific, Prince Zuko."

I paused to work out how to phrase the question in my mind, and said, "How do adults carry on friendships after something…say…mind-numbingly embarrassing happens? How can they talk to each other ever again without every bad thing that's ever happened parading through their heads?"

"Of course they remember it all. Here, look at me." I obediently raised my head to meet his eyes. "Now, do you remember when you refused to wear clothes for a week? How you ran around the castle like that?"

"I was four. I don't remember that, Uncle."

"I do. Rather clearly. Ozai was in quite a snit over it. Conduct unbecoming a prince of the Fire nation, or some such."

"Um…alright." I had no idea where he was going with this

"My point being, I don't bring that up every time I see you, do I?" I shook my head. "You see?"

"I think so. You mean that, even though it's going to run through my head every time I see either of them, I shouldn't mention it?"

He raised his eyebrows, and leaned forward to set his elbows on the low table between us. "Now I'm genuinely interested. What happened?" I must have looked guilty, because he added, "What did you do?"

"I…was eavesdropping on a conversation about me, between the two girls. I was discovered," I rubbed my scar irritably as his grin widened immeasurably, staring at my red-clothed knee, "and I don't think I'll ever live it down."

"It will pass, as all things do. I suggest an apology. Some things may seem important now, but in a little while they will all be inconsequential. So," Uncle leaned forward perceptibly, chuckling, "anything new from your little adventure into subterfuge?"

"Nothing productive." I was reluctant to tell him, oddly. He had always been my confidante; I trusted him with my life.

"You said that they spoke of you," he goaded. "What did you overhear?"

"Nothing productive," I repeated, not meeting his eyes. I was sure that they would reflect only hurt back to me.

"…Very well, Prince Zuko. It was not my place to ask." I heard it in his voice - the uncomfortable shift from friendly to formal, from gentle prying to staunch respect. Uncle had taken that tone with me more often than not in my childhood, before we had embarked on my exile together and grown closer than I had ever been with anyone. It pained me, like a stabbing toothache, and I winced.

We looked at each other for three heartbeats, and I couldn't say what emotion was visible on my face. I debated it in my mind hurriedly. He opened his mouth to say something, but I blurted out in a rush, "I heard that Kiri thinks that Amara likes me but Amara doesn't. She hates me. She hates all firebenders."

"Ah!" Uncle nodded sagely, seeming to forget the previous awkward silence. "Did she say she hates you specifically, or just all firebenders?"

I tried to think."Just all firebenders, maybe. It doesn't matter. I'm a firebender, and, therefore, she hates me."

"Not so, Prince Zuko. Listen to your own words; perhaps she does not hate the part of you that is not a firebender?"

"Am I not all firebender? It is better that I've been banished and my father can't hear you say that."

"I meant your personality, boy. Don't play stupid with me. Perhaps she likes you for you?"

I blinked, giving him a disbelieving glare. Kiri, I was sure, had said almost the exact same thing… "Now, why in all the many and varied levels of my personal hell would she do that?"

"That's not the issue we've come here to discuss."

"What do you mean? I came here to ask you about continuing relationships, not whether or not Amara likes one part of me but not the other. It doesn't even make sense to me. She can't just like parts without fire, because the fire burns through every atom of my being. It doesn't make sense at all!"

"Would it be so terrible if an earthbender liked you?" He smiled at me.

"She doesn't like me, and I don't like her."

"You're obviously madly in love with her. Can't you at least pretend to have some hope? For the sake of an old man?"

I glared at him, grumbling, "How could you possibly get 'Uncle, help, I'm madly in love with Amara' from 'She hates me'?"

"It's obvious," he waved his hand in front of his face, as though clearing the air. "You like her, she likes you, are we clear? Good. Moving on. What do you intend to do now? We certainly can't continue up and down the coast like this with those girls on board, and you know it. One way or another, the men will get ideas again."

I sighed, too tired to advocate my lack of romantic feelings for Amara. "What do you suggest? We won't find the avatar simply by trudging around in hostile territory."

"You could try to ask Amara and Kiri about the avatar again, and learn where to find him and his Water tribe companions," Uncle suggested helpfully.

I snapped, "I won't be speaking to either of those sisters very soon."

"_You_ won't…" Uncle said, smiling his most deceptive smirk to date, "but _I _will. I will merely ask them about it. I can be very persuasive."

"Too true, Uncle." I gentled slid my hands over my eyes.


	6. The Journey

"Amara, Kiri," Uncle bowed his head to both as he said their names, holding out cups of his infamous ginseng tea. He set one in front of me and took his own in hand. "I have invited you here to broach two difficult subjects."

I could feel Amara's eyes on me, and rubbed my scar without looking up. How had Uncle talked me into doing this? I couldn't do this. I wasn't good at apologies in the _least_.

I cringed when Amara said petulantly, "And why should we cooperate at all? We don't seem to have earned any respect of our privacy as it is."

Uncle nudged me until I brought my head up to glare at him, and then motioned with his eyes that it was my turn to say something. Sighing and touching my scar still, I could only bring myself to meet Kiri's blue eyes. "That is something for which I must ask forgiveness. It was not my place to listen in on your conversation. So…" I risked a glance at Amara, who seemed fascinated by the wall. "So, I'm sorry for that."

Kiri looked at her sister, who shrugged her shoulders without turning around. In a small voice, she said, "You are absolved of blame, apparently." She looked around furtively and leaned forward, beckoning for me to do the same. When I had, she continued in a whisper, "I don't think it was a bad thing, if you heard what we think you heard, Zuko."

Now Amara reached forward and quickly covered Kiri's mouth with her hand, dangerously close to a terminable blush. Deciding it best to just avoid the subject, she turned to Uncle and said through a half-forced, half-giddy smile, "And the other thing you wanted to talk about, venerable sir?" It was a bit of a shock to hear him called that.

"Oh, no, don't call me that, child. Only officers that want some sort of special attention or praise call me that. Call me Uncle," he grinned and patted my shoulder heavily, "everyone does."

I rolled my eyes, more than a little thankful for his well-placed sarcasm. "I'm the only one, Uncle."

"And I've always thought that the numbers should grow," he didn't miss a beat.

"Well, then, Uncle," Amara began again slowly. I saw that Kiri was holding tight to the light green sleeve of her sister's dress, and had a feeling that she already knew where the conversation was to be turned. "What else are we going to talk about?"

Uncle went from smiling in good humor to sobering up in seconds. "Where is he?"

"That was a little _blunt_, don't you think, Uncle?" I hissed in surprise. I had expected him to talk around it for a while. He always did so with me.

Defensively, Amara said, "Where is who?"

Uncle seemed to only hear her question and not mine. "The avatar. He was in your village before the Fire nation was. Where did he go?"

"I can't tell you. You'll hurt him."

Here, I interrupted. "We will do far less to him than our countrymen plan to. Would you rather he be captured, or killed immediately?"

Amara didn't reply. Which, as it happened, was still not the desired reply. She must have seen some emotion in my eyes and turned her head away, chin up. We sat in silence. Kiri looked from her to me, worried. Tugging resolutely on Amara's loose sleeve, she murmured, "I think we can trust him, Ama…"

Amara pulled her sleeve away sharply. Kiri turned her doleful eyes on me next, and shrugged helplessly. "She won't listen."

I gathered that, I thought, but I nodded solemnly and thanked her. I glanced at Uncle, but he was watching me, trying to gauge how I handled this. Damn, no help there. "Amara," I began, and she swung around angrily to glare at me, "Why won't you tell us where he is?"

"I swore that I wouldn't. And besides," she glared at me, one eyebrow raised, "if we tell you, we will serve no purpose and you'll probably either sell us or kill us altogether."

"Well, then," I risked quite a bit on my next question, "Will you lead us there? You'll serve a purpose that way, and I will have to protect you no matter what - though I would do so either way. I will not press you for information, but I will ask that we do travel at least one mile in a day. It makes perfect sense, from your standpoint."

The girls shared a glance for a long moment. Kiri closed her eyes and smiled with relief, and Amara nodded almost imperceptibly. "Fine," the older said decisively. "When will we leave on this journey?"

I managed not to look triumphant over this small victory. "Tomorrow. You two gather what things you have, and I must arrange a detail of soldiers as an escort. Is that alright?"

Amara nodded and stood, grasping Kiri's hand and pulling her up as well. The younger paused before the door leading out of the cabin and bowed quickly. "I-I'm glad," she said unexpectedly. "That you were the one to buy us, I mean. I'm glad. And I think that Amara is, too…in her way of it."

I nodded in understanding and watched her go. Once the door shut with a soft _click_, though, I slammed my head on the table. "That went horribly, didn't it?"

"Ah," Uncle sighed sagely, taking a sip of his tea, "I know of no other way you could have handled it. If you had forced her, she would have hated and probably misled you. If you had left the issue drop, we would continue up and down the coast indefinitely, and then where would we be? And if you had just said please, she would have assumed that you were trying to con her into agreeing. Better just to reason with her."

"Uncle, I can never tell whether you're using sarcasm or not."

"I try my best, Prince Zuko."

* * *

I had a problem. Who would come with us on this journey? Who could I trust with Amara's and Kiri's safety? I wasn't sure I could, not with _anyone_. Especially not me. I couldn't decide. 

Men that had more than a year's service under their belts but were still young and agile were ideal. I had only twelve of those on the ship; when I had been exiled I hadn't received the navy's elite. Every other man sacrificed either the able body parameter or the experience. I decided that youth was marginally more desirable, and so I was stuck looking along the assembled forces of fresh-faced obedience. Still, only twenty pairs of eyes followed me as I paced back and forth.

I stopped and considered Hao and Lon. Hao was staring straight ahead, but next to him Lon was fighting back a smirk and periodically elbowing him. Fire's smoke, I would have to take them with me, wouldn't I? If I didn't they would make trouble for Uncle - he would be commanding in my stead - and I didn't know for sure what he would do for a consequence. I couldn't subject my men to that sort of uncertain death, even if they did annoy.

"Privates Hao and Lon, prepare." They both immediately saluted and moved belowdecks. I looked back along the line and picked a man out at random, to round the detail off at a neat fifteen. "Private Niyu, you too." The man, eighteen, had shockingly red hair, green eyes, and an open smile. He winked cheerily at me - I grudgingly didn't hold it as insubordination - and bounced off. "The rest of you, back to your posts."

Right. The experienced men would have to make room for three rookies; Hao, Lon, and Niyu.

* * *

This was it. We were really leaving in earnest search for the avatar whose capture would give me free license to reclaim my place as heir. 

I imagined more fanfare, to be honest. Just a few exchanged instructions - that I felt uncomfortable giving to Uncle in the first place - and a pat on the shoulder for luck. And we were off.

The first day was pleasant. We hiked for five hours, made camp in a thinly-forested area, and ate a good supper of gathered roots and game. Polite conversation was made, furs were unrolled, and we slept. It was pleasant.

The second day, I became blindingly furious and contemplated murder.

We fished for our food, because we were following a stream for the moment. Everyone but the girls chipped in, but only a few actually succeeded in catching anything. I caught three, and intended to give two to Amara and Kiri. But Lon 'accidentally' ran into me, throwing me into the river, and 'mistook' my fish for his. My armor immediately dragged me down, but I survived. I was ready to stop traveling, now.

The third day Lon complained incessantly, and I had a fairly interesting talk with Amara.

"Are we there yet?" I asked sullenly, lifting a branch to be used in the night's fire. Amara rolled her eyes, skirt hem in hand, climbing from hill to hill. "Lon is driving me crazy."

"Calm down, and just ignore him. I do. I told Kiri to, as well, but she's not as good at that sort of thing as I am. I would have thought that you could just block most things from mind, with that scar of yours."

I ran my hand out said disfigurement, and looked away. "Sorry that I'm not so beautiful as you."

"What? You're not. Not ugly, I mean."

I didn't believe her. Of course I was ugly.

I regarded her critically. She had a wide smile and an extra spring in her step. "Why are you acting differently, then?"

"I'm so happy out here, you have no idea! The ship was unpredictable, it could sink, so many things could go wrong, but out here…nothing can! Everything else seems so bland in comparison." She spread her arms wide and twirled dreamily. I'll never understand earthbenders.

"Oh?" I grinned, and tossed the branch into the air. Going into three stances smoothly, I held my hands together and the branch burst into flame. "Now tell me that's not beautiful."

Her face contorted and she shook her head quickly. "It's dangerous. I always get this feeling that it will get out of control, and then what can I do to stop it?"

"You could always throw dirt on it," I suggested. I felt myself smiling, for the first time in a very, very long time.

She stomped her foot on the ground and lifted a strong fist. A portion of earth lifted and wrapped around the burning branch, extinguishing the flames. She looked at it quizzically, and over at me. Just like in the ballast chamber, I became acutely aware of how close together we were - I could have wrapped my arm around her shoulder if I wanted to.

It was a small shock to discover that I truly did want to.

"Amara," I breathed, and tried to gain better control of my voice. "If that doesn't work, I can always stop it. I can always protect you."

She didn't try to move away or take her eyes from mine. "It's…not as if you'll always be around."

"Why not?" My voice unrolled and expanded across the clearing. It was a quiet moment. Nothing could happen, and nothing couldn't. I felt almost free.

Now she looked away, at the log smoldering under the dirt. "Because a fire can't burn in just one place for very long. It eats away all the fuel."

"I'm not fire." I touched the back of her head, and she raised it quickly, mouth open to say something else. Giving in to temptation, I dipped forward and kissed her. It lasted less than a second. And then I straightened and rubbed my scar and refused to look her in the eye.

I'd ruined everything, hadn't I?

"Um," she said slowly, "did you just -"

"No." I turned away and scooped up a pile of wood and started back to camp.

She ran to keep up, skirt lifted so that she wouldn't trip, saying quickly, "You _did_!"

"I did _not_."

"You just ki-"

I dropped the wood and rounded on her, certain that I was blushing furiously. "Nothing happened. Forget it. It was a mistake. You hate firebenders, I know that."

She stepped back, affronted. "I-I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sorry." I turned away again. "I want to ask…" I turned back and she trailed off. "Why?"

I closed my eyes and pressed the heel of my palm to my scored left eye. "Because you're too much. I've never been around girls. You're too argumentative and too beautiful and too strong and too somehow too vulnerable at the same time. It's…hard, for me. Everyone I've ever known has either been utterly subordinate or had dominion over me. Uncle was my first friend. And now with you and Kiri, it's almost too easy to forget everything and try to have fun because at some level I know that people our age do things like that, but I'm the commander of a ship and I have to worry about getting the avatar and earning back my inheritance. I can't… deal with you."

"Oh." She was crestfallen, even I could see. "So, if you had nothing else to distract you, what happened back in the clearing…wouldn't have happened?"

"It would have," I answered immediately, not pausing to think. I'd ruined everything a second time. The scary thing was, I was getting good at it. "I mean…never mind."

"You said it, you can unsay it. You still would have kissed me." She had an arrogant curl to her smile. It wasn't evil so much as it was _cute_. "And I'll bet you'd do it again." She closed her eyes and stuck her jaw up, joking smirk now firmly in place. It was a challenge if ever I'd seen one.

"I…don't pressure me!" She couldn't be serious!

"Too weak and nervous, Zuko?" she laughed, but didn't take it back.

I gritted my teeth, grabbed her shoulders, and pulled her forward. This kiss was better than the last, and more fervent. I grew adventurous, and touched her closed lips with my tongue, seeking entrance. It was granted almost instantly. Suddenly, tongues were touching and sliding against each other, and I pressed closer, and belatedly remembered about air and all its comparable joys. We parted slowly, breathing heavily, touching in every conceivable direction.

"So," Amara panted, smiling with somewhat swollen lips, "I take it you kind of like me, hmm?"


	7. The Confrontation

**Ehehe... A bit of a delay, I know. Hey, at least I gave you The Kiss before I got distracted! From now on things get a bit... hectic. You'll see.**

**

* * *

**

Amara and I were a couple. That alone was hard to wrap my mind around. We were walking back to camp, and her fingers were interlaced with mine, and I felt as though the world made sense now. I stole a glance over at her - and saw that she was already looking at me.

She smiled and squeezed my fingers gently.

Then, we arrived and everything was forgotten in the chaos of the camp. Each man had collected wood for the fire, and I left the grunt work of building it to Lon, Hao, and Niyu, the amateurs of the group. Everyone worked together to make dinner, and Amara and I ate together with Kiri. She kept looking between us, as though she knew just by the fact that Amara and I hadn't fought that something had happened.

I was nervous, I realized with a jolt. Kissing her had been so spontaneous and natural that I hadn't remembered to have qualms and second-guesses, but now, watching her smiling and joking with her sister, I knew without a doubt that I would never be able to act the same around her.

And she would probably expect me to be able to carry a conversation in the future. What would I do if I was too panicked to think straight? I tried to remember what Uncle had said about remembering awkward moments in a relationship. He had said not to mention it. Or that it wasn't important. But I didn't _want_ to forget about it, I wanted very much for it to happen again, many, many times.

It was a bittersweet feeling. I wanted to avoid her, but simultaneously wanted to spend many long hours getting know her. I was such a child, but I was so much more an adult than before. I had no idea what to do from here. And my thoughts were confusing me.

They were looking at me, and I had been staring openly at Amara. "Um," I coughed discreetly, "sorry, what?"

"May I have your leftover strawberries?" Kiri repeated, quiet mirth just beyond hearing in her voice. I obligingly pushed them onto her plate. She turned to Amara and they both burst into a fit of giggles. "Zuko, next time, remember to close your mouth when you stare at my sister."

"I'm sure he'll be more careful next time," Amara said with a little, secretive smile. I tried to smile back, but it was more of a wavering grimace.

I fell back to staring at her. It made the time pass without too much of my own interference.

Eventually, she stood and I automatically followed suit. Picking up Kiri, who had fallen asleep, I carefully walked to her bed of furs and laid her down. She was so frail. Her leg had healed neatly, but it was still very weak, and I worried about making her hike like this. Tucking her in, I turned to look at Amara, sitting in the ring of the fire's light.

My Amara. That sounded nice.

She smiled and murmured, "You need to stop staring all the time, Zuko. It's disconcerting."

I rubbed my scar, blinked a few times, and sat beside her. My nerves had redoubled in an instant, since we were the only ones awake in the camp. There was a quiet hush, so I spoke in a low voice, careful not to disturb it. "You're too beautiful to ignore."

Now she blushed , as well. "Why would you say something like that? It's not like I'm any more beautiful than a flower. It'll fade soon enough. Once I get older…it'll be gone."

I knew only one thing to say at that moment. "I want to be around to see that happen." In my heart, I felt it was true.

She gave me a sad smile, and moved away, farther from the edge of the fire. "We'll head east tomorrow. That will bring us closer."

I understood and went along with the change in subject. I thought for a moment, and commented, "We've been heading due north for a while now. Why the sudden change in direction?"

"You said that I could lead us on any path I wished, so long as we got to the avatar in time." She was becoming defensive, and I stood with a tired sigh. No point in letting ourselves fall into an argument - I was determined to test how long we could go without coming to blows. I wanted this to last, whatever 'this' turned out to be in the end. She glanced up at me and said, "I'm sorry." She hesitated, stood, and set both her hands on my shoulders. "I'm tired. A lot has happened today, most of it good. My reaction to stress is, basically, to be sarcastic until it goes away."

I shook my head, wishing that I could see exactly what her eyes looked like at that moment. The dying embers of the fire only left me with vague outlines to go on. "I won't go away, I'll just fight right back. You know how stubborn I am."

Amara laughed, and I immediately wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Fun little Pavlov's dog response I had, that was all. She whispered, "I like it better when we don't insult each other, but if that's what has to happen to keep you around, I guess there's no help for it."

I blinked, and took a deep breath. We were very close (whose fault was that?) and I could try for another kiss…but I didn't want to test it. If she was tired, she was less likely to react favorably to _anything_, really. So I pressed a kiss to her forehead instead, just as pleased with myself as if I had gone for the prize. The way my stomach was turning over, I wasn't feeling capable of anything else.

She leaned against me for a moment and sighed, then murmured 'Good night' and went to bed.

I sank down next to the dying fire and rubbed my scar slowly and thoughtfully, still feeling the warmth of the moment. I was honestly happy, for the first time in a year. I wasn't worried about my men; they were fine and working well together, excluding Lon. I had more confidence in my search than ever before. I had _kissed Amara_. I was happy.

And then a gentle, mature voice said next to my ear, "Milord, may I ask for some help banking the fire?"

I took a deep breath, let it out, utterly failed to panic and turned to look at Niyu, the redheaded soldier that I had chosen to bring arbitrarily. I got to my feet again, saying, "I'll help. Why are you awake?"

He grinned and gave me a two-fingered almost-salute that made me feel like he had known me all his life. "I drew the short stick, so I'm keeping watch in the dead of night." We both used boughs to prod the embers together in the center of the fire pit, and he said lightly, "I would beg permission to speak freely."

"Granted," I answered, scooping clean sand up with my hands and packing it around the pile.

He did the same for a moment, and then said, "I wouldn't need your help to do this if you hadn't ordered the cessation of all our bending."

I matched his easy tone and said, "Questioning an order, Private?"

"Call me Niyu, please." We settled the thicker branches over the mound and covered those with sand, as well. "There we go. I was more wondering _why_ you ordered it, milord."

Which, in retrospect, is the very definition of questioning orders, but I didn't care back then.

I wiped my forehead at the minor exertion and explained, "This is the Earth nation. If the girls are anything to go by, the people here hate our army and navy both. Ergo, no fire bending and no uniforms." We both looked down at our stained and dirty cotton shirts and heavily-woven pants and laughed.

He looked at his clothes a moment longer. "I understand, milord," he said at length, clapping me on the back. "That makes sense, actually. I wasn't sure about you, since I didn't see the reasoning. But I guess you're alright after all."

I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see it. The only light was from the stars, and that was only enough to have a vague outline. "I'm glad I've passed muster, Niyu."

He took a swig from his canteen and offered it to me. "You should be; not many ever have, milord."

I shook my head, took the sip he gave, and handed the container back. We sat in comfortable silence, and my mind wandered back to Amara. He said something, and I had to ask him to repeat himself.

With a joking eyebrow raised, he said again, "She's really very pretty, milord."

"Who?"

"The lady Amara, of course. Forgive me, but I saw a bit of your little exchange. You're very cute, in how you act toward her and what you say." He leaned back, and laughed with that cool, adult way he had before - not like the others, Hao and Lon, whose entire goal seemed to be a juvenile sort of entertainment. He went on, "But I don't understand her reactions. You say you want to stay around until you're both aging and she changes the subject. Later, though, she tells you that she likes it when you're around - doesn't that strike you as odd?"

I sighed. Just how much had he heard? Maybe he was just someone that wanted to know everything. This was bordering on nosy, but the way he said it made me think that he was trying to solve a puzzle. Maybe he wouldn't have told anyone at all what he had overheard. I couldn't know for sure. "Yes, it does. But it's not as though I've had past experience to help me with girls and all their complications."

"Really? I would have thought there would be droves of women throwing themselves at you, milord. Back before the exile, at least. Of course, you were just a boy. And you _have_ been busy with the avatar thing. But still, for your first relationship to be at age fifteen-"

"Fourteen, for now," I corrected him. "Sorry, but am I still part of this conversation, or may I sleep?"

"You don't need my permission to leave, milord."

He is a kind man, I thought to myself. Perhaps he would make a good spy, able get along with anyone he needed to. Oh well; that got filed away in my mind as I moved away toward my makeshift bed. "Fine, I'm going, then."

"Good night, then, milord."

Easy to talk to, but very irregular and devious. What an odd man.

* * *

Was Amara still mad at me, or had a single embrace and a kiss to the forehead smoothed it over? I didn't even know if last night had really counted as _anger_, per say - it was almost fear. Why had she been afraid? Did she think I wasn't being honest? That I might hurt both her and Kiri anyway? I needed to calm down.

Dawn found me cross-legged on the ground within the ring of the campfire. I was trying to think it through, to see all the angles. What was I not seeing? She had been on edge for a reason. Because of me or because of someone else? Was she being harassed again? Why wouldn't she tell me if she was? Were the men telling her things about me, things I wouldn't want a girl to know? And what could they even tell her if they were?

"Zuko," Kiri said, touching my shoulder. I opened my eyes; she was still dressed for bed. "What's troubling you?"

I brought my hand up to my scar. "Your sister was standoffish last night."

"Oh." She paused and thought for a moment, then sat down nearby, facing me. "Is that all?"

"Well, I don't know what I did wrong!"

She hesitated again, and whispered, "She used to pick fights with everyone, no matter how much bigger than her they were. The invasion made it worse. But then you saved us, and she calmed down - she's nice to the men, won't make them hate her."

I thought this over. "So, you're saying I'm a good influence? I'm making her better?"

"I don't know if it's for the better, but you are certainly making her change. I haven't seen her focus all her energy on a single person before." I must have still looked troubled, because she said slowly, "Have you ever meditated?"

"Is it like narrowing your thoughts as you perform a kata?" I offered, spreading my hands before me in a shrug.

"Maybe. But it takes all the elements, and it's a bit dangerous."

"I'm willing to learn it."

She nodded and closed her eyes, so I followed suit. In a deeper, more sure voice than she had used before, she recited, "Earth to weight the body and halt a reckless rush. Water to sooth the mind and guide it to stronger strategies. Air to cleanse the soul and to let it make wise decisions, fueling the Fire of the heart as it is built of courage, righteousness and surety.

"_Earth_." I felt my muscles strain, trying in vain to move. It exhausted my immediate instinct to bolt.

"_Water_." My thoughts dissolved, left a white haze of irrefutable law and certainty.

"_Air_." I wafted up, a leaf on the wind, a bird in the sky, I could do anything…

Silence. She was waiting for me. I said, with as much honor as I could muster, "_Fire_."

I could do anything. I _knew_ that nothing could stop me. This was the ultimate determination, the perfect moment of strength and calm and I was so very, very close to being a god among men for how mighty I was…

Could this be heaven?

Kiri spoke again. "The Earth is shifted away." I relaxed, sagging down in my posture and keeping my eyes closed. "The Water is called downstream." My mind filled and cluttered with flashes of dark blond hair and light skin. "The Air passes through and away to take to the skies." All my life's mistakes replayed in my mind, and I felt tainted and unworthy. "And the Fire, nothing left to hold onto but the tired heart it kept so strong, recedes, but does not die." The moment of bliss locked itself in my mind and I exalted in its existence.

I opened my eyes, a tiny spark struck by that action alone. Amara was looking back me, pleased smile spreading across her face. I mirrored it and bowed my head. "Thank you for that, Kiri."

"You're welcome." She moved her eyes a little to my right, toward the fireplace, and stood up. "But breakfast is ready. I'll bring some over."

As I watched her go, I raised my hand to stop her and say that she didn't have to. More flame spread across my fingers as they moved. Oh, my control was slipping. I worked to hedge the power itching at the base of my skull into line. I was snapping my fingers to watch the lack of any response as Kiri came back, handing me a plate.

* * *

That day, walking along a deeply rutted cart road, I was ready to tie Lon up and feed him to something large and fur-covered.

"My lord, my lord, how's the slave market faring these days?" he goaded me, trying for a reaction. "I was thinking of buying one or two myself." Amara's cool gaze swung across the line of men between our enlightening conversation and hers (which regarded the favorite subject of the week: Has Amara made a real man of our prince as the others say?). Lon saw her looking and waved like a child. "She seems interested in me, at least!"

I scratched my scar to hold in a deathblow. If Amara was looking, she was probably just annoyed that Lon was talking about her at all. Or she might have been looking at me, my mind supplied, make my heart beat just that little bit faster.

I walked faster than him, and he dropped back a few feet to talk (loudly and clearly) to Hao about what he would do with a couple of 'willing slaves'. Lon was just getting started when Amara stepped back from the front of the group, stalked over to him, and slapped him.

"Will you come _off_ it!" she yelled, as I held up a hand to signal a stop. "I'm not some whore you can take turns on, you stupid pig!"

Kiri hurried to her sister's side and started to pull her back by the arm, begging her quietly to calm down. Amara wouldn't budge, and kept shouting insults and arguments at the soldier. I walked over to push her by the shoulders, and Niyu followed to guide her back to her place in line.

By the time that was settled and I looked back, Lon had a fireball in his hand and was running toward both girls. On instinct, I stepped out of the way, grabbed his arm, and threw him to the ground. "Private Lon, you will _not_ attack anyone on our side!"

He jumped to his feet, already spitting his response. "I won't abide slave yelling at me, you young punk! That girl is a bit confused about her duties here. Who's fault is that, an owner that refuses to show her the ropes? You don't know what to do when the girl's tied down, I'd hate to see the women you mar-"

An arrow hit a tree to my left, and all eyes turned to watch it shudder in the wood. Half the men had their swords out and were looking back to the east, where it had been shot from. I was scanning the trees for people, assailants, anything, and thinking furiously about what I would with the girls in a battle.

"My lord," Hao said quietly, his voice wavering. I looked at him, and followed his gaze to Lon. "I think…" Lon's clothes were staining red as waves of blood washed over them, coming from a wound through his neck. His vacant eyes were locked on where I had been standing. "I think Lon's dead…" The arrow in the tree had passed straight through Lon, and no one had even noticed.

* * *

**Hee. Yes, I am evil. Yes, it is a cliffhanger. Yes, I'm going to update - I'm inspired! Honestly, I had planned for it to be Niyu that I killed off, but then he was such a nice guy and a fun character when I got around to writing himthat I just couldn't do it! So I killed Lon, since he annoyed me and he was being mean to Amara. Good choice? Bad? Should Niyu become one of the main guys in this? You tell me!**


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